Today is Monday and frankly, it took me all of four days to process and articulate what that big white glowing ball of rock in the heavens was frantically messaging. All I knew at the time was that there was an urgency, potency and a fair amount of transmutation occurring, posing as pain.
If you didn’t have a bit of a cry or even a full guttural wail of some sort this last week you are made of stronger stuff than I. The Cancer Sun was doing her thing of ensuring ‘waterworks’, ‘taps’ and ‘leaks’ of all kinds were in full flow so that the Capricorn moon could soak it all up into her earthy self to ground, transmute and transmogrify. Magical bright green shoots of new growth sprung up almost immediately confirming that the Capricorn-Cancer opposition had done its most beautiful thing. No new birth is ever pain-free drugs notwithstanding.
Astrologically speaking the Moon is considered to be in detriment when it is in Capricorn. Cappy is a dark (sea) horse, not known for feeling comfortable with emotions and the Moon is ALL about emotions. So if you felt discomfort, vulnerability, fear, pain, sorrows or just unhappy in your own skin, you can blame that Capricious Moon.
The irony is that Capricorn (moons) are seriously sensitive. I mean that in every connotation of serious. They just prefer no one to know this fact. It makes them feel safe; invincible even. Any doubt of self no matter what their trajectory or goal, (ill found or not) would make those hooves slip and slide on the treacherous slopes as they push themselves to climb to the top of their desired mountains. They know that doubt is the dissolver of passion, the destroyer of success so they keep it a horns length as much as possible.
This Cappy Full Moon was all about feeling that vulnerability. #fucksoticism. Instead of throwing a tantrum, clamming up or allowing ourselves to fall into pity or wipe- out, we were called to try and truly embrace this sensitivity and see it as a strength that promised to sure up those cloven hoofs on their brave new mountain climb to a more magnificent version of Self.
Vulnerability, is in fact deeply entwined in moving deeper into our own authenticity. We cannot be the latter until we SEE and FEEL our holes, our leaks and our sorrows. Once these have been identified, we must love ourselves back to wholeness through non-judgement or our heart will break some more; often irreparably.
Capricorns propensity to mask its’ sensitivity (which creature can eat tin cans and not die or at least curl up in abject pain!) could not, in the bright light of this Full Moon, hide in its preferred shadows. There was, a definite unveiling and illumination of the masks we have worn for all of our lives. These clever disguises, personal and collective, have helped support the structures and strictures of our model of existence for centuries.
With a Moon in Capricorn affected by Pluto’s cathartic transformational influence, the towers of our current modus operandi underwent some serious demolition.
Capricorn symbolizes the foundations and the laws upon which we have built our societies and our Selves. It is also the way we have been taught to express ourselves, compute the reasons for our existence and the lens through which we perceive our worth.
Cappy (Moon) people are renown to have a poor but well-hidden sense of self. This weekends’ Moon likely triggered all manner of deep-seated fears of not-enough-ness and the pain that this big, eternal lie carries with it.
Our hearts were pierced by the Moons’ light and with this puncture, came some pain, as the poisonous pus of our false be-LIE-fs pertaining to the not belonging and not being good enough poured out.
As the fire of our personal truth and hidden feelings came in direct contact with the oxygen of Self, there were likely some flare ups exposing our vulnerabilities, creating torment and turmoil on many levels.
For me it felt like my heart was finally broken for good. But then as the hours passed I realised my heart had finally fully broken open so that it could radiate with increased (self) love and authenticity. It was now open and able to receive and give as it was originally built to do. I hope this experience was the same for you.
All our fears were put on the table, for us to see in their battered and broken ugliness beauty. #thankyoufullmoon.
It felt like some weird Prolapse where all the norms and muscles that have been working hard to support societies structures and patriarchy, just suddenly gave way. No longer can humanity hold itself in or share only half its heart, so those internal mechanisms that we deemed healthful, just collapsed and let all our fears and shame come leaking, pouring out in an almost incontinent way.
The ‘womb ‘ of all creation, the crucible of ALL THAT THERE IS, which has been held inside of us, secretive, shameful, afraid and silent, was suddenly just too big to be contained and so it literally fell out of us, to be acknowledged and loved unconditionally.
On a side note, I found it supremely interesting that making headline news this past week, was the class action being taken by a group of Australian women against one of the big pharmaceutical companies for allowing a mesh to be used in Prolapse surgeries that had in many cases caused irreparable damage and pain to its recipients.
It’s like the ‘support’ the old paradigm/patriarchy, is offering us as creators, as women as mothers, is finally being seen as it truly is; painful, stifling and barbaric.
When there is a Full Moon in Capricorn- ‘societal structures’, it means the Sun is in Cancer- ‘the Great Mother’ is currently illuminating the structural and often unconscious blueprints of our society. She is gathering up her full skirt in a flurry of compassion, to create momentum that will break down and transform (Pluto) the current pillars upon which our system operates and begin to push us to build something new and more aligned with humanities present and future call.
She commands in no uncertain terms for troops to reassemble themselves with the new values of caring, sharing and unconditional love as their primary guide.
As we shed tears, released trauma or found bruised spots in our psyches and fleshy, blood and bones this weekend, we began the sure-footed, goat-like, climb back into the base camp of our hearts; we started the momentous and courageous move into deeper authenticity.
The more of us who step up, cloven hoof or not, and wear our truths proudly and unashamedly as lighted up epaulets, we become beacons for the whole of humanity.