conscious parenting

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June 18, 2017

On fat shaming. Where a 15 year olds’ poetry packs some serious power.

It’s rather ridiculous isn’t it, that we as adults and parents pose as bearers of truths that we think children are yet to learn?  But think about it.  A child is innately joyful, playful and spontaneous until we get involved!  They don’t need telling how to be curious or even humane.  They know that feeling connected to each other is the top and bottom of life itself which is why they cry when they need picking up; that’s why they yell when they think something is unjust. They are naturals at real life. We are often the ones lost in the fuzz and fog of our fear- laced experience. Umbilika is a firm believer that adults are not here to teach children […]
March 22, 2017

How our own wounds influence our parenting and how kids heal us.

“The very most profound thing we have to offer our children is our own healing.” – Anne Lammot You know that a-ha moment you get when you become a parent; that moment of sheer fear mixed with utter disbelief that something so small has had such a massive impact on your life, on your very being? That very moment that shatters your view of life so instantaneously is no accident. It is the Big-Bang, cosmic star-stuff that life is made of. It is the jigger that our own evolution is geared to. When you have a child you HAVE to grow. It’s in the unwritten, unseen contract you signed when you chose to become a parent. The small print is so fine […]
November 29, 2016

All they need is love. Mirror, mirror on the wall….

All they need is LOVE.. A trite, over worn statement perhaps, but almost maddening in its’ simple truth. Parenting was never meant to be hard. We made it so. So what IS this love that we say our children need?   It’s in the ruffling of their hair as you go past them doing their homework.   It’s in the learning to let go of judgment even when it masks itself as good intentioned.  Judgment isn’t the work of love. It breeds division, destruction and distance.   It’s in the seams of the costume for the school play you work on into the late hours of the nigh,t even when you can’t sew.   It’s in the breast that you offer the […]
February 29, 2016

Lose the label, find the child. Reframing Aspergers.

  “It’s time to take joy in everything that our kids are.”- Dan Pearce. Single Dad Laughing So you have a child with Aspergers. If you are looking for sympathy you’re in the wrong place.  If you are looking for empathy and a way to release yourself and your child from destructive victim energy, you’re right on time; you’re perfectly aligned. Diversity is everything. It brings beauty, it builds love, it facilitates change; it’s a crucial part of evolution. Believing that divergence is a problem is the real problem. Buying into the idea that there are ‘norms’ is destructive and unhelpful. Choosing to re-frame differences is empowering, it breeds acceptance (especially self-acceptance), it cultivates tolerance and literally creates new worlds and enhanced, enlightened […]