For some, as we reflect on it all on this last day of 2016, there is this feeling of being a mere husk of our former self. I’ve not heard many say that they considered this a particularly happy or at least easy year. However, there was available to us peace in the chaos. There alway is. Some of us found it, some of us didn’t. Don’t beat yourself up whichever way you tracked. It was what it was.
Finding creativity in the rubble was achieved when we became conscious of the value of all this de-armouring. The cosmic call was to throw all that no longer served us into the fire and be brave enough to watch it burn before us. The smoke made our eyes water.
All ‘tribal’ nonsense that kept us tangled in webs of self-deceit, entwined in mind games that feed the egos of others but drain us of our innate simplicity and divine power, became available to us as wood to throw on that bonfire. It was a transformative, phoenix fire that back burns forest floors to make room for the new; new seeds that could be sown to bring life to a new, long-awaited paradigm.
Family ties, relationships and friendships that no longer served our sovereignty went into the pressure cooker. Some of them came out well cooked and softened, but some didn’t make it and all that was left was a charred mess in the bottom of the pan. Heroics were needed to throw the dregs out. Grief was a vital ingredient.
Our sense of Self was under a magnifying glass. Too much negative attention or self-deprecation and self-doubt of our inherent magnificence, and we too got burned by the rays of our own inner light fighting to get out. This was a long and repeated process involving massive swings in self-esteem and confidence. Some days it left us bare and vulnerable, exhausted and drained of all life.
There was a common itch, an irritation, a swelling of something deep inside that was ‘done’ with all of ‘this’.
2016 was a push, a scream, a howl even, that screeched, “Game over baby. Game over! ( I wish now I’d made a T-shirt)
“I’m over all this. I want out. Yet I’m not quite sure what it is I’m over, I just know I am over it ALL.”
The world seemed stupid and ridiculous. Many of us thought “Am I the only sane one here?” (you probably were)
Prior this year we used to think maybe it was us. But now, we know it’s not. We are not the mad ones, the sad ones, the rogue- gone- bad ones.
“No!” Said this year.
“We are not!”
We know now that we’ve come to this sacred place where we consciously choose to opt out of the games of shame, of lies, and deceit that we signed up for in oblivion, for centuries, betraying mostly ourselves. No wonder we felt sad.
We are over it. We’re finally throwing the towel in. We’re not dirty, or shameful. We’re not crazy or silly or wrong.
We KNOW who we ARE.
I’ve heard so many people say this-this year:
“Yeah! I Am who I Am and I don’t give a damn!”
We collected the firewood of fantasies and lies, the kindling of misogyny, of racism and false ties. We gathered the logs of tribalism, of obligation and duty and we did a witch-hunt in reverse.
Witches were burnt at the stake for going against mainstream belief systems, for sitting strongly in their own personal power, for healing the sick and intuiting the future. They were feared for their refusal to relinquish their authenticity, killed for being themSELVES.
This year we turned the tables, we changed the course of our trajectory by claiming our authenticity and sovereignty. We threw on the bonfire, burnt at the stake, all that kept us away from our personal truths.
The whole of 2016 was a back burn in motion that scoured and scraped our hearts searching for all micro-morsels of inauthenticity. All that was no longer in tune with the Me who is We, the Him that is Her or the You that can Be, was razed to the ground so that new growth could begin: new identities gained. Our balance, our groundedness, our ying and our yang, our Masculine and Feminine were being unearthed, revealed.
The year was a bonfire of the old being smoked into new. A new slate was calling and we hopefully, finally fell head over heels (or arse over tit! My hand is up!) fully in divine love with ourselves.
The energies have changed as the #9 year comes to a close and the vibration of a #1 (new beginnings, new clean cycle) kicks in.
Hold strong your cleared Self. Hold closely to your newbie Self-love. It will feel wobbly. It will feel odd.
We are walking in new shoes, moving in new circles, traveling alone.
We’re like newborns experiencing life for the first time; like kittens who have just opened their tiny eyes. Everything might seem strange or overwhelming. Be kind. Kind to yourself and one another and to our Great Mother.
Begin it now!
Happy NOW year!